Friday, August 1, 2008

If You Give A Scotch Chick A Cookie...

Aren't parodies fun? DC Scotch Chick was inspired to try her own hand at one while waiting in line at Border's the other day. There was a political parody of Bush based on Charlotte Wise Brown's Goodnight Moon. Now she didn't have time to read through it but it did generate the idea. In that spirit.....

If You Give a Scotch Chick a Cookie
By: DC Scotch Chick

A Parody of 
If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
By: Laura Joffe Numeroff

If you give a Scotch Chick a cookie....
she's going to ask for a glass of single malt whisky.

When you give her the single malt whisky,
she'll probably ask you to enjoy a glass with her.

When she's handed the glass,
she'll tilt and turn it.

Then she'll want to look at it to examine it's color.

When she looks at it,
she might notice how it sticks to the side of her glass.

So she'll probably ask you to examine your glass as well.

When she's finished examining the color,
she'll bring the glass to her nose.

She'll sigh.
She'll nose the single malt again.
She may change the angle of her glass to pick up a hint of this or that aroma.

When she's done,
she'll probably want to take a sip.

She'll sip just enough to coat her tongue, touching all of her taste buds.

She'll hold it in, notice all the flavors and gently swallow.

She'll let in just a bit of air and breathe through her nose.
She'll most likely notice different flavors as she breathes.

When she is finished, 
she'll get so excited about the great new single malt she tried 
that she'll want you to take a sip as well.  

When you've taken your sip, 
she'll want you both to review the great new single malt.

When the glass is finished, 
she'll want to hang the review on the Drinks Table.

She'll hang up her review and stand back to look at it.
Looking at the Drinks Table will remind her that she's thirsty.

So........

she'll probably ask for a glass of single malt whisky.

And chances are if she asks for a glass of single malt whisky,
she's going to ask for a chocolate chip cookie.

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